Is Timing Everything? The You do You experts discuss

There’s a theory that successful relationships come down to timing. On Sex and The City, Miranda once compared straight men to taxi cabs, contending once a guy’s decided he’s ready to settle down, he’ll marry the next women who (metaphorically) hails them down. But is this analogy accurate? Does true love, as it were, really come down to meeting someone at the right time, rather than meeting the right person? You’ll have to listen to the podcast to absorb all our opinions, but enjoy a few highlights below!

Photo by Jenna Jacobs on Unsplash

There’s No Such Thing As Meeting The Right Person at the Wrong Time.

The 14th century Italian poet Francesco Petrarca wrote over three hundred sonnets to a chick named Laura. Petrarca spent most of his life obsessed with Laura, despite not ending up with her. While dear Francesco’s obsession feels somewhat creepy to me, it’s still common to hear lovelorn folks lament The “one that got away.” You know, the pervasive idea you’ve already met the right person, but circumstances got in the way. Well, we’re here to call bullsh-t!

Perhaps you’ve had to break up with a fantastic person because you’re living in different cities. Or maybe one of you isn’t ready to settle down. It’s tempting to lament the beautiful life you could have enjoyed together, but there’s no need! Because you’re totally incompatible. Part of someone being right for you is wanting the same things at the same time. For example, if you’re jonesing for a family right now and your partner would rather wait a decade, it’s not a match. It’s as simple as that! I don’t care how much you enjoy cuddling on the couch while listening to Cool Band X. Timing trumps similar taste in music every time!

 

It Can Take Years To Become A Decent Partner

They don’t teach us how to form healthy romantic relationships in high school Sex Ed classes. So how do we learn to be good lovers? Well, by doing (no pun intended). That means you may need to experience a few (or even a few dozen) relationships before becoming a skilled significant other. And that’s okay! Obviously, we want you to treat everyone you date with respect. However, it’s okay if you’re not awesome at romantic emotional labour right away, don’t beat yourself up!  Practice makes progress! Plus, there really is no prize for settling down by a certain age. Trust me, I’m married, and I’ve yet to receive a medal.

 

You’ll Improve at Choosing Partners as You Age

Admittedly, some people who find their soulmates and 17. But those cases are rare. We get better at most aspects of adulting as we age. For example, I’m a more competent grocery shopper than I was at 23, when I lived off hummus and two-bite brownies. I’ve also improved at booking Air BnBs that aren’t sketchy. Similarly, you’ll become more skilled at selecting paramores as you age. Trust me, no one wants to buy a condo with that obnoxious International Relations student they were canoodling with in second-year university. Next time someone asks why you’re still single, share this nifty stat: those who get married after age 25 are 24% less likely to get divorced. Congratulations, singles born before 1995! You’ve saved yourselves a ton of money on legal fees!

Sarah Sahagian

Sarah Sahagian

Sarah Sahagian is a feminist writer based in Toronto. Her byline has appeared in such publications as Elle Canada, Flare, Bitch Media, The Toronto Star, and The National Post. She is also the co-host of You Do You: A Dating Podcast. Sarah holds a master’s degree in Gender Studies from The London School of Economics. You can find her on Twitter, where she posts about politics and live-tweets The Bachelor
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